


Unsteady.

by bend_me_shape_me



Series: Song Prompts. [5]
Category: Supernatural
Genre: Comfort/Angst, M/M, Season/Series 13, mentions to cas' death
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-12-12
Updated: 2018-12-12
Packaged: 2019-09-17 02:21:18
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 698
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16965894
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/bend_me_shape_me/pseuds/bend_me_shape_me
Summary: Song: Unsteady by X Ambassadors.thanks for reading! ❤





	Unsteady.

Dean holds Cas tightly, his hands clutching at the fabric of  the angel’s trenchcoat, he hides his head again't Cas' shoulder.

“You’re alive” He can’t stop repeating those words, over and over again. A few seconds pass before Cas returns the hug. Dean’s knees tremble and for a second he fears falling to the ground.

_Hold on to me, ‘cause I’m a little unsteady._

Dean breathes again, feeling he wasn’t able to do it for a long time; the air filling his lungs in short, quick breaths, he breathes as someone who almost drowns under the waters of a dark and vast ocean.

 

Cas starts living in the bunker with them and Jack again. Dean just gravitates around him, not a second passes without Cas being under his watchful eye, without his hands touching him. Maybe a simple touch, a slap on the back. Anything that reminds him that this isn’t a dream, that’s enough for Dean. And at the same time it isn’t, his body always needing more contact. But at least he knows Cas’ here.  _ He’s here _ , and Dean can’t  believe it.

“I’m glad you’re back” Dean thinks he’s told it a hundred times, maybe a thousand. It doesn’t matter, it’s the truth. Without Cas here everything seemed so dark, the bunker so cold, his life so empty.

_‘Cause this house does not feel like home._

But Cas has returned and Dean finally sees the light at the end of this tunnel. He knows that he is exaggerating, he knows that he should leave Cas some space, but he can’t do it. This time, when he was on his knees with Cas dead by his side, it all seemed so final.

Cas doesn’t look annoyed by Dean’s attentions, he hasn’t asked him to step aside, he seems impassive. It’s been a long time since Dean has seen him this way, he’s changed and Dean knows it. Cas is different, but he is still the same too, Dean knows him, he has always been able to see past any facade. So he knows Cas needs this, needs him, as much as Dean needs it.

_I know you’re tired of being alone. I know you’re trying to fight when you feel like flying._

He can’t get rid of the anguish that has settled in his chest. Dean knows exactly what’s going on, what he is feeling  it’s the need to do things in the right way for once, to do things the way Cas deserves them, give him everything that his death showed Dean he’d never done. It’s the weight of the words he never said too, this time he will not fail Cas as he has done before. He promises himself.

Cas is back, he is good, everything is going to be alright now.

 

But not everything is okay, there are the nightmares, even if Cas is alive, they won’t let Dean sleep.

‘’Did you have nightmares again?“ Cas’s voice startles Dean and he almost drops the carton of milk in his hand.

“Yeah, but it doesn’t matter, I’m fine.” Dean doesn’t turn to look at Cas.

“It matters, you’re suffering. I can feel it.” Dean lets out a bitter laugh and leaves the milk on the counter with a slam.

“Of course I’m suffering Cas. I see you dying over and over again!” His voice is no longer a whisper and he doesn’t give a shit if it wakes everyone up. He has to let it out. Finally he turns around and is greeted by a face full of concern and sadness. “I thought it was the end, I thought I wouldn’t see you again and that I didn’t tell you what you mean to me enough times, Cas I- I.” Dean pauses surprised as Cas closes the distance between them and embraces him.

_Hold onto me, 'cause I’m a little unsteady._

“I know” Dean hides his face against the curve of Cas' neck, fighting back tears. “ I’m here.” A choked sob breaks the silence and Dean shakes. Cas hugs him harder and Dean hugs back, wishing he could keep Cas here forever, between his arms.  _ He is here _ .

_If you love me, don’t let go._

**Author's Note:**

> Song: Unsteady by X Ambassadors.  
> thanks for reading! ❤


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